The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

02:23 Mar 23 2010
Times Read: 546

-_________- *dashes back to hole*



(Think I’m going to stay here for a while, life was much more simple back when I didn’t interact with the world. Back when I didn’t talk to people, back when I didn’t know anyone, back when it was just me. That’s the best for me because then I can stop being let down by people who I thought would never do so. I’m learning that I shouldn’t have expectations for people because every time I have, those expectations have been shattered leaving my mind boggled. I think that if anyone wants to be friends or anything else with me that they need to come to me because I’ve lost faith in people and I’m done reaching out to them. Prove me wrong and show me that people actually care about anything as for me I’m going to become the person that doesn’t talk again, I see now that’s best for me. No more disappointment, no more let down, no more waiting for the good side of people. I don’t want to catch a glimpse of your good side just for you to whisk it away quicker than it was shown.)

Hmm...
07:25 Mar 11 2010
Times Read: 554






Life’s funny… One moment you’re on the highest of highs and the next you feel like the world just fell out from underneath you. I’m coming to understand that no matter what you do you can not shape situations to your liking. Things will go the way they go, while yes you can influence them usually it won’t work in your favor. The reason this is is because you can only view the world through your eyes. You can’t view it through any others because you are not them. You don’t know their motives. You don’t know their reasoning. You don’t know what they’re thinking. All you can do is worry about yourself.



This makes me wonder though… I’ve been working on just thinking about the present, on just worrying about myself but all I’ve got from that is a lot of thought. The hardest thing that I’ve come across in my short 18 years is forgetting. To forget about that which you knew. To forget about that which you loved. My mind is still stuck back in senior year and I’m not sure how to bring it forward to present time. My aunt told me something the other day… She told me that out of all the young ones in our family I was the only one to never need help. I never needed help of any kind. I don’t know what happened to me to lose that. I used to be the most resilient of people. I’ve fought through divorce, abuse, and four times being homeless but now even the littlest things can drive me to my knees.



I’m not sure what’s happened to me… I don’t know who I am anymore.